Human-Shark Hybrid 1 – Wal-mart doesn’t understand me
[inspired by the unknown searcher who came to my site from the Google query, "human-shark hybrid walking the earth"]
Episode I: Wal-mart doesn’t understand me
I needed some AA batteries for my radar detector. I could go to CostCo or Home Depot if I wanted a package of fifty, but I didn’t want a package of fifty, so I went to Wal-mart. Also, Wal-mart’s parking lot was a right turn from my office, which meant I wouldn’t have to wait for a traffic light. I have to keep moving or I get short of breath.
“Welcome to Wal-mart. Can I help you find anything today?” It was this guy my dad’s age or older, just inside the door, wearing a little apron. He was polite and seemed harmless, but I was feeling a little peckish, so I ate him. That caused a bit of a ruckus. People screamed and ran away, which is really stupid because it totally sets off my pursuit reflexes. I would have chased them down and eaten them, too, but I remembered what I had come in for. AA batteries, for my radar detector. I’m a human-shark hybrid, but that doesn’t mean I have to act like a shark all the time. I have some self-control. Plus I wasn’t all that hungry anymore.
