Best blogger ever?

Maureen Johnson.

http://maureenjohnson.blogspot.com/2009/01/2009-new-years-resolutions-revealed.html

 

You may be wondering what I am going to do with a chainsaw in the middle of New York City. To which I would reply, “What CAN’T I do with a chainsaw in the middle of New York City?!

As you probably have guessed, I am a driving force behind the construction of the 17 mile supercollider in Switzerland. My original concept was to have all of the members of Abba collide at 99.9999% the speed of light, almost certainly producing a song greater than Dancing Queen.

Carvel could have sold cakes in the shape of giant rats, or guillotines, or Paul Revere’s etching of the Boston Massacre, and I wouldn’t have cared.

Anyway, there was this girl named Danielle who was, as I remember it, Satan’s very own spider monkey…

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